What's keeping you from obtaining the success you want and deserve?Article added by Lew Nason on April 12, 2012
Joined: October 13, 2006
Ranked: #2 (20,502 pts)
Are you as successful as you would like to be?
Have you ever wondered; “What's keeping me from being more successful?”
Are you subconsciously holding yourself back? Are you afraid of failure? Or, believe that you don't deserve success in your life? Are you afraid of making bad decisions and feeling foolish? Or, wasting your time and money?
The truth is that most people subconsciously don't really believe they are capable of being successful. And, it's this limiting belief that is holding most people back.
If you want to be truly successful in your career and your life, then first of all you have to learn to believe in yourself. If you do not believe that you can be successful, then who will?
“If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won't, you most assuredly won't. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad.”
To be a success in your career, as in your life, requires that you will take some risks, make mistakes and have some failures along the way. It's about learning from your mistakes and failures to help you find a better way to gain the success you ultimately want.
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."
Unfortunately, many of us have been conditioned early in our life to believe, in one way or another, that we can't succeed — we are losers. Or, we believe that by taking risks such as getting our hopes up will ultimately end up in disappointment. We have internalized this negative feedback and feel that we don't deserve success.
One of the main fears of success is that success will change us in such a way that we will jeopardize the close relationships we have with our family and friends — because in order to move forward in our life, we must change the ways we do things. When we change, won't the relationships around us be forced to change? Maybe some of our friends will cheer us on, but won't others be jealous and berate us for moving forward?
We fear success because we are afraid that being strong enough to create the life we want will render us unlikable. Maybe we fear that success will bring on attacks from our competition or we will be bombarded by people wanting money or other things from us.
It may sound strange that the fear of succeeding could be as much of an issue or do so much damage. However, it is an issue and it does damage our opportunity to succeed. Yet, most of the people who suffer from a fear of success are usually not even aware of their problem.
Are you afraid of success?
"Fear of success is a terrible problem in this culture," says Brian Schwartz, a psychologist and consultant in Greenwich, Connecticut. "The vast majority of people I see are afflicted with it."
- Do you feel guilty about being happy if a friend tells you that they are depressed?
- Do you avoid telling others about your good luck so they won't have to feel envious?
- Do you have trouble saying no to people?
- Before getting to work on a project, do you suddenly find a whole bunch of other things to take care of first?
- Do you believe that people who look out for themselves first are selfish?
- When someone you know well succeeds at something, do you feel that you've lost out?
- Do you have trouble concentrating on something for a long period of time?
- When you have to ask others for their help, do you feel that you're bothering them?
- Do you compromise in situations just to avoid conflict?
- When you make a decision do you fail to follow through on that decision?
- Do you feel self-conscious when someone you respect compliments you?
- When you are involved in a competitive activity (sports, a game, work), are you so concerned with how well you're doing that you don't enjoy the activity as much as you should?
- Do you feel that the surefire way to end up disappointed is to want something too much?
- Instead of wanting to celebrate, do you feel let down after completing an important project?
- Do you often feel that you don't measure up to the standards that you've set for yourself?
- When things seem to be going extremely well do you feel like something is going to happen to ruin it for you?
Are you one of them?
How can you overcome the fear of success?
Decide who you want to be
Fear often has to do with worrying about uncertainty, feeling out of control and wondering what your life’s purpose is. When you realize you are part of a bigger picture, it’s easier to ascertain that you both deserve and need to be successful and happy.
If you want to succeed, then you do the right things. You help the people around you. You make being a good person a priority. You know that this isn’t just about you. It’s also about the bigger picture that you’re part of — making a positive difference in people's lives, and helping families to spend, save, invest, insure and plan wisely for the future, to achieve financial independence.
These thoughts will give you the courage to try something new and believe that your life is successful because of the doing, not the outcome. Every day visualize clearly about the person you want to be. Make this visualization vivid and precise.
How does this person talk? How does this person dress? How does this person solve problems? How does it feel to be this person? Ask yourself these questions, as you visualize your ideal self.
"Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. If a person is working toward a predetermined goal and knows where to go, then that person is successful. If a person does not know which direction they want to go in life, then that person is a failure."
Maintain a positive attitude
Instead of living your life on autopilot or letting negative thoughts come into your mind, consciously feed your mind positive thoughts. Do not think of all the reasons why you cannot be successful. Instead think of all the reasons why you can achieve success.
Stay away from negative people, and you will dramatically decrease the amount of negativity in your life. Give thanks for what you already have. Show appreciation to everyone around you. Write down all the positive events in your life. Read inspirational books, listen to uplifting music, or call an upbeat person and you'll soon find your negative attitude will start melting away.
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal;
nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."
Create your success library
Sometimes when we lose trust in ourselves, we just need a little bit of inspiration to push us in the right direction. There are plenty of ways to find inspiration, but we forget about them when we need them the most.
Create a library of quotes, save articles and success stories that have inspired you. Create a library of inspiring movies and videos, or create an album of your fun and happy memories. Turn to this library whenever you have any self-doubts.
"To have more than you’ve got, become more than you are."
Take the time to learn
People are always afraid of what they don’t know. If you have a fear of something, you just have to educate yourself about it. It is like walking into a dark room. At first you feel scared and don’t know what to expect, but once you turn the light on, everything gets clear and simple.
"All of the top achievers I know are life-long learners. Looking for new skills, insights
and ideas. If they're not learning, they're not growing... not moving toward excellence."
Live your life in balance
No matter how important success might seem to you, it is still important to follow it with balance. Otherwise, your journey towards success will turn into an obsession that will ruin everything that you truly love in life.
Unfortunately, most of us get so caught up in responsibilities and goals that we forget to enjoy our lives. You must make time for yourself. It can be just 20 minutes a day, but this time must belong to you. If you give yourself the luxury of free time, then you will notice that the rest of your responsibilities will get easier.
Success is not a destination. It’s a journey. It’s important that we take each step feeling grounded and balanced. Spend time with your loved ones, enjoy your hobby or follow your passion, take care of your health, and grow spiritually. This is the true meaning of success — the one that you can achieve only in balance.
You will become a better parent. You will be able to come up with creative ideas at work. You will be able to take better care of your health. You will reduce your stress and experience the joy of living.
You can be successful. It is your right and purpose in life to be successful in whatever you are doing. If you believe, then nothing will ever stop you from achieving the success you want and deserve.
"Success is not the result of making money; making money is the result of success and success is in direct proportion to our service."
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