Different questions — Different responses
The way you ask a question can determine whether the other person provides a limited response or will tend to be more open; whether they become defensive or willing to share information. Your tonality and word emphasis also plays a big part.
Remember: if you don’t get the reaction or response you wanted, it may be due to the question you asked.
Inquiry that limits interactions
Inquiry that furthers interactions
- Don’t you agree?
- Do others feel that way too?
- Do you understand what I’m trying to say?
- Did you do that because of X, because of Y or because of Z?
- (Thinking: “He screwed up”):
Do you really think you did a good job?
- I have some concerns about how you handled that. I’d like to say what they are and get your reactions.
- Why don’t you just try what I’m suggesting?
- Why didn’t you just tell me?
- What prevented you from telling me? Did I say or do something that made it difficult?
- Why are you so defensive?
- Do you have a different view?
- What are your thoughts?
- Do others feel differently?
- What’s your reaction to what I’m saying?
- What led you to do that?
- What about what I am suggesting raises doubts?
- You’re reaction is unexpected. What’s going on?