Are your words powerful?Blog added by Sandy Schussel on April 30, 2013
Sandy Schussel

Sandy Schussel

Princeton, NJ

Joined: December 10, 2011

My Company

Sandy Schussel, LLC

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Jim is a senior sales manager who oversees a dozen branch offices for a financial services company. Each office has a branch manager who oversees 10 to 20 advisors.

Last week, Jim told me how he had asked each of his managers to bring certain advisors of theirs to a meeting he thought would benefit them — and how several of them didn’t bring the people he had requested. This was only one example out of hundreds wherein the branch mangers didn’t do what Jim told them to do.

“I don’t get it,” Jim complained to me. "I have to tell my managers to do something over and over and then they still don’t do it. If my boss asked me to do something,” he continued, “I would just do it.”

"It's like they accepted their advisors’ excuses and let them off the hook,” he explained, “instead of telling them that they were required to come.”

“It sounds like your managers may have used some weak words when they asked their advisors to come to the meeting,” I said to Jim. “They didn’t make it mandatory.”

“Exactly!” he exclaimed.

“Now, go over with me how you asked your managers to invite them,” I instructed.
“I told them how great the speaker at this meeting was going to be and suggested that they really should have these particular advisors there with them,” he lamented.

It was clear that Jim had also used weak words when he “told” his managers to bring their advisors. He wanted specific attendances to be required, but he used words such as “really should” and “suggest,” misleading his managers into believing that it might be optional. Powerful words such as, “I want them there” or “make sure they are there” would have accurately conveyed what Jim expected to have happen.

Why, then, did Jim choose weak words for something he wanted his managers to do? As he and I discussed it, we discovered a pattern. Wanting to be liked, Jim learned early on to sugarcoat his demands so that no one would feel he was coming on too strong. This worked whenever he was seeking input from his managers, but not when he had made a decision and wanted them to take action.

As an advisor, are you using weak words with your clients, just so that you can be liked? Or are you serving them by clearly and concretely telling them what would be best?

You can’t make everyone like you, but most people will like you more if you actually say what you mean. There are nice ways to go about it, but when you want something to happen — and you view it as necessary — make sure you use powerful words when you ask for it to be done.
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