Top 5 insurance agent jokes and why you should tell them to your clients
By Joe Simonds
Retirement Income Network
Insurance agents have been the butt of many jokes over the years. Some jokes focus on the insurance agent’s lack of trustworthiness, and in rare instances this is warranted, but in most cases, it is not. Unfortunately, a few bad apples have created an uphill battle for insurance agents and financial professionals to earn trust and respect from consumers and the media.
Some good news is that insurance sales people are not considered the least-trusted professionals in America, thanks to Congress and the never-ending abuse of used car salesmen and Wall Street bankers. However, insurance agents have still managed to rank among the least-trusted professions in America for many decades.
If you are an insurance agent, this distrust can pose some significant problems as you build a practice, build your brand and build a solid referral base. Professional race car driver can’t control the actions of the other drivers on the course as they chase the checkered flag at 160 miles per hour, and insurance agents and annuity specialists are no different. However, there are plenty of defensive methods you can implement to protect yourself from reckless agents around you.
I learned at a young age that everyone is going to make mistakes. I also learned that the best thing you can do when you err is to ensure the following things happen:
- Learn from your mistake and never repeat it
- Be able to laugh at yourself and find something positive from your mistake
After consulting some of the most successful financial professionals in the industry, I have noticed a secret that each of them have taken considerable time to create within their practice. It is a secret so simple, so easy to implement, yet so few in our industry actually do it. I am talking about doing the following with your practice:
1. Putting your personality into your brand, your message and your firm
2. Having fun both personally and professionally and letting your clients know about it
3. Confidently calling to light the problems with your industry, exposing the bad apples and explaining why you are different
That’s right, tell jokes. I have yet to meet a person who won’t listen to a joke. Have you ever been in a boring meeting and the speaker says he is going to tell a quick joke? You can scan the room and see every head perk up. Like stories, we have become accustomed and groomed to listen to and enjoy hearing other people tell jokes.
What a great way to entertain your client while also calling attention to the problems in your industry and informing them about how you're different. Used car salesmen, lawyers and congressional representatives could all do the same thing with great results. Why get pigeonholed into always proving yourself to skeptical prospects right before they are finally going to do business with you when you can give them a memorable way to know you are a salesman with integrity and high moral standards before they can even begin to be skeptical?
So, without delaying punchline any longer, here are the top five insurance agent jokes.
Insurance agent joke No. 1
"You ought to feel highly honored," said the businessman to the life insurance agent. "So far today, I have had my secretary turn away seven insurance agents."
"Yes, I know," replied the insurance agent, "I'm them."
Insurance agents never retire, they just expire.
Insurance agents are premium lovers.
Insurance agents do it with third parties.
A state adopts strict new insurance self-study continuing education requirements for its agents. The tests now required are very difficult and must be completed in less than an hour at a certified testing center.
On the first day of the new requirements, an agent wanders into a testing center a half hour late.
"You'll never finish this test on time," the test administrator coldly states.
"Just give me the test," replies the agent, "I'll finish it."
Skeptically, the administrator gives the agent the test.
The time limit comes and passes and yet the agent still has not completed the test. Finally, a half hour after the test time limit, the agent brings his test up to the administrator, who is correcting a large stack of tests.
"You can´t turn that in," states the test administrator. "You knew there was a time limit."
"Do you know who I am?" replies the agent.
"No," says the administrator.
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the agent says more forcefully.
"No, and I really don't care," replies the administrator, slightly annoyed.
"Good," says the agent, who quickly shoves his test into the middle of the stack the administrator is correcting and walks out the door.
Last week, I bought a retirement policy. All I've got to do is keep up the payments for 15 years and my agent can retire.
A super genius goes in to see a doctor. "Doc," the genius says, "I think I'm too smart. I'm having trouble even communicating with people because we have no common frame of reference, and it's ruining my social life. Can anything be done?"
The doctor runs a series of tests on the genius, and indeed finds that he is too smart. He says, "Currently, your IQ is 250, which is vastly superior to an average man. This is why you are having trouble communicating. I do have a cure, however. I have a machine that will drain away some of your intelligence, leaving you with an IQ of 160. You'll still be a genius, but you should be able to lead a normal life as well."
The genius immediately agrees to the treatment, so the doctor straps him into the machine.
Just as the doctor turns on the device, he gets a phone call from his ex-wife. They have a heated phone conversation for several minutes before the doctor remembers his patient. He rushes back and is shocked when he sees the IQ readout at 75.
The doctor says, "Are you all right?"
The former genius just stares blankly.
The doctor shakes him, saying "Say something."
The former genius replies, "Can I interest you in a life insurance policy?"