Three tips to eliminating the "no longer acceptables"
By Anne Bachrach
The Accountability Coach
Many of us say we're going to make changes to eliminate the things we don`t like about our life, but few us actually commit to improving the quality of our life. We stay in a job we don't like and in a relationship that does not serve us, and blame our circumstances on the hand we've been dealt in life. If you have ever felt like this, it's time to get a dose of reality. Whether you're sick of your financial situation, your health, or destructive relationships, you have the power to eliminate the "no longer acceptables" in your life and create the life you want and deserve.
Give up the excuses, because they are just plain cop-outs. Creating the life you want simply begins with a choice -- you choose to eliminate the no longer acceptables in your life. Changing your life circumstances is that easy. You choose your desired reality instead of your current reality, and commit to doing whatever it takes in order to create it.
While some people will live their entire life believing they are bound by their current circumstances, it does not have to be that way for you. There is no written law that says you have to live in fear, unhappiness or depression. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We have unlimited potential, but can be falsely led to believe that we are not good enough to have what we really want. Whether you were told you deserved exactly what you got, or picked up bad habits that sabotaged your success, none of that matters. Your life can change the very instant you change your thoughts -- right here, right now.
Before you continue reading this, grab a pen and a piece of paper. Make a list of 10 things you want to change in your life. Your list can consist of anything you are unhappy with or downright sick of. Here are some examples:
- Find a nicer apartment
- End an emotionally destructive relationship
- Go back to school and obtain a bachelor's, master's or Ph.D degree
- Get a better paying job
- Lose weight
- Be more confident
- Stand up to an abusive boss or manager
- Cut up credit cards and eliminate debt
- Be a better example for my kids
- Spend less time at work and more time with family
Eliminating the things you find yourself most unhappy with will allow so much more peace and emotional space. You will feel like a new person when you finally eliminate the things that have been holding you back from what you really want.
Visualization exercises deliver powerful motivation and set the wheels in motion for you to begin attracting what you really want. It's true that we get exactly what we expect -- good and bad. The minute you tell yourself you deserve better, you will start attracting better opportunities and people. What used to be acceptable in your old life will become a "no longer acceptable" in your new life. You will have the confidence to stand up for what you deserve -- and that will only be the best.
Instead of settling for an acceptable job, you will only take a great job. Instead of settling for an acceptable relationship, you will demand a great relationship. Instead of settling for an unhealthy lifestyle, you will accept only a healthy lifestyle. What I'm trying to convey here is that you deserve so much more than you currently have, but it's up to you to do something about it. You can't make improvements until you eliminate the no longer acceptables from your life. And you can't improve your quality of life until you demand it.
Here are some practical steps you can take to start eliminating the no longer acceptables from your life:
1. Use the Pareto Principle. The Pareto Principle states that 80 percent of your return should be based on 20 percent effort. In other words, when correctly applied, 20 percent of your efforts can produce 80 percent of the results. Correctly applying this rule saves you time and energy, while producing optimal results. What you want to avoid (and this is what most people are trapped in) is applying 80 percent effort for only a 20 percent return. This means you are essentially spinning your wheels for very little return or benefit.
Apply this principle to every aspect of your life to evaluate how you're spending your time and energy. You might be surprised to learn how counter-productive your habits have been. If you find that you've been spending 80 percent effort for only 20 percent return, make some changes to flip the stats in your favor.
2. Learn to say "no." You don't have to take every opportunity that comes along, especially if it doesn't serve you. Which would you prefer: an acceptable job or a great job? How about an acceptable relationship or a dream-come-true relationship? Learn to say "no" to the acceptable opportunities that only deliver a fraction of what you really want and "yes" to only the great opportunities that best put you in a position to achieve all of your goals. Remember, you attract only to the level of what you think you deserve. You deserve the best, so start thinking that way!
3. Stay focused on your goals. Always and only think about where you want to be, even if it's not your current reality. The mind is a goal-achieving machine and will create a reality to match your vision, so envision a good one. You have unlimited potential for success -- you only have to commit to staying focused on your goals. There is no law that says you are bound to a reality that makes you feel unhappy or depressed, but you have to decide and commit to accepting nothing less than your vision in order to reach your goal.
Change isn't always easy, but everything starts with choice. Once you make the choice to improve your quality of life, everything after that is just a series of choices that lead you to the reality you want. Failure is impossible when you learn that the only difference between your current reality and desired reality is an absence of excuses.
Eliminating the no longer acceptables in your life is incredibly freeing and liberating. Once you create the life you want, you'll wonder how you used to even live the way you did. Choose to let go of those things that are holding you back from achieving true success, make a list of the no longer acceptable, and start eliminating them one at a time. Once you begin, you'll find it easier to continue because you will finally feel free to create the life you truly want.
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