Are you failing on purpose?Blog added by Sandy Schussel on September 24, 2012
Sandy Schussel

Sandy Schussel

Princeton, NJ

Joined: December 10, 2011

My Company

Sandy Schussel, LLC

Throughout my years as a coach and sales trainer, I’ve noticed a sad but interesting phenomenon: Professionals sometimes fail on purpose.

A few years ago, I asked a group of coaches who were attending the event at which I was speaking how many of them were there because they needed more clients.

All 47 of the people in the room raised their hands.

I then asked how many of them were getting some kind of coaching or training to improve their situation and, astoundingly, this time, only two hands went up.

One of my coaches, Steve Chandler, talks about how people will fight to their deaths to defend a story they’ve made up about themselves (e.g. “I don’t need help. I can do it on my own,” or “I tried getting help, but it didn’t work,”) rather than simply showing their vulnerability to someone by asking for what they need and then following through to get it.

This past June, I offered a select group of financial advisors an intensive workshop on client development. I filled the program, which included an all-day, in-person workshop in New Jersey, followed by several group and individual coaching calls.

Everybody showed up for the all-day workshop, but many chose not to take advantage of the coaching sessions that came afterwards. I understand that investing in help when you’re not sure you’ll get value for your investment causes people to hesitate. But the people in this workshop had already paid for the help.

A few of those people actually didn’t need more help. A couple were already my private clients. And one or two may not have felt that what I was doing could help them. I can accept and respect that.

The rest, however, simply chose not to get the help they so desperately needed. Rather than being vulnerable enough to admit that they needed it — so that they could get and grow from it — they chose to take their story, that they could do it on their own or not at all, to their deaths.

They chose to fail on purpose.

If you’re one of those professionals who wants to say, “I tried everything, but none of it worked,” stick to your story and fail on purpose. Go ahead — it’s OK.

If, however, you are willing to admit you need a little extra, I would encourage you to take a calculated risk and invest in it — down to your last borrowed dime, if need be. If you can extend your arm to meet a helping hand, you might change your story.
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